


I Found

by NiHiL707



Series: The Gestalt Theory [2]
Category: The Checquy Files - Daniel O'Malley, The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Multi, POV First Person, Swearing, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 00:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20462150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiHiL707/pseuds/NiHiL707
Summary: The follow up to Behind Blue Eyes.





	I Found

**Author's Note:**

> Cheers everyone !!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy !!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gestalt freaks out

You idiot

You stupid fucking moron

How did you not see it coming  
how did you not know

How could I have known?

Please  
it all makes sense  
her behavior since that night

so obvious

Right

Cause her feeling  
disgusted and ashamed  
is entirely obvious

Yes

deep down  
you knew she would be

But she hasn't said anything  
She's just avoiding me!

Can you blame her?

Yes I can blame her  
I have every right to be angry

though  
what kind of arsehole  
mistakes curiosity  
for feelings

The person who had those feelings

never existed

except in my head

Don't say that  
she does care

she'll just never accept you

She's fine with reaching inside all of me  
when she's drunk  
but in the sober light of day

I'm still a freak

Bitch  
You hate her

I don't hate her  
I love her

I'll never hate her

I hate myself though

Helped ruin a fifteen-year-old friendship  
based on what?

The feelings  
I thought we shared?

The insane belief  
that I too  
could be loved?

Fucking pathetic

———

I catch her in the middle of the highway  
right as she's walking in

"Myfanwy. You haven't been answering the phone..."  
Distraught  
anguish clear in my voice

"Sorry Gestalt. I... it's just... work has been hectic, you know."

See  
she's regretting it

she hasn't said anything  
but  
I know

I know her

She's acting weird  
edgy  
won't talk to me  
won't meet my eyes

I get it though  
I understand

there's only one way to mend  
what we have broken

I need to  
tell her it was a mistake  
give her an easy excuse

and hopefully time will  
heal  
what was once between us

"I need to talk to you. Now."

She seems reluctant  
wary  
sends a fleeting look at Eliza a few feet ahead of us

lets out a weak sigh  
"Alright, after you."

She sounds resigned  
eyes downcast  
fingers tight  
around the handle of her bag

The knot in my throats  
grows

———

I take her to the third floor footbridge

stop a few feet from Myfanwy  
with Robert

from Robert  
with Eliza

giving her space

I'm watching from the fifth floor  
with Teddy  
from the ground  
with Alex

still  
I feel jittery  
unprepared

unwilling

Just  
open your mouth and tell her

you fucking moron

"I met my sister."

"What?"  
In sync

concern surging  
annihilating any previous thoughts

Instantly starting to walk closer  
with Eliza

She gives me a queasy smile  
meeting my eyes briefly  
her fingers twitching fitfully on the handrail  
so close to mine

"Well technically, she met me. Apparently she's been following my coming and goings for the last couple of weeks."

"Fuck!"  
Escapes me through Alex  
down bellow

Between Kim  
and fucking Farrier  
I haven't been  
as careful as usual

Braquetting her  
instinctively  
making sure she's safe

Eliza's hand on her back  
to reassure myself

"How are you feeling? Are you okay? When did it happen? What did she want?"  
Both of my voices  
clashing  
in a cacophony of worry

She lets out a wobbly laugh  
grips Robert's hand  
a little too tightly  
on the banister

"I'm fine Gestalt, I'm..."  
I automaticaly  
start rubbing her back  
She relaxes  
at once  
under my touch  
"... just a little shaken that's all."

Takes a fortifying breath  
"She stopped me as I left for work Tuesday morning..."  
corner of her lips tightening slightly  
begining of a frown  
"...after you'd left."

Guilt  
constricting  
choking me

I should have stayed  
even if it meant  
seeing the remorse  
the shame on her face  
as she woke up

"We just talked. Or rather she talked."  
A brief pause  
lost in her memories  
"She changed so much Gestalt, I couldn't recognize my cute baby sister. She was so angry."

She must feel me stiffen  
because she adds right away  
"Not at me! At the Checquy mostly. What we do. She talked about it like we're some kind of cult created to kidnap 'gifted' children."  
Another deep breath

holds my gaze  
for the first time  
since she fell asleep in my arms  
that night

squeezes my hand  
"That's why she came. She wants me to run off with her."

On their respective floors  
I allow Teddy's and Alex's fists to clench  
expressions darkening

Close to Myfanwy  
I try to be more subtle

but I'm sure she can see  
the warring emotions  
in my eyes

feel the slight tremor  
in my fingers

She takes a step closer  
looking up at me  
half understanding  
half annoyed

"I'm not going to, obviously. I don't plan on spending the rest of my life on the run. And as you well know, I believe in my work at the Checquy and what we stand for, I couldn't just leave."

The bolt crushing my lungs  
loosens slightly

She's not leaving

the Checquy

Still  
I need to take care of her sister  
just in case

"Besides..."  
She's blushing  
squeezing my hand once more  
eyes on my jacket  
shy  
"... I don't intend to ruin what's happening between us."

A weight lifts  
relief flooding through me  
leaving me weak in the knees

Don't  
just smile  
like a love-sick idiot

not where she can see you  
at least

Elation flustering me  
she starts talking again  
before I can respond

"I'm sorry for my behavior the last two days, it's just... I hate lying to you and I didn't want to talk about this, that's why I've been avoiding you. I'm truly sorry, I should have told you straight away."

Her free hand playing distractedly  
with the hem of Eliza's suit  
she lets out a small  
self-depreciating laugh  
still not looking at me

"I didn't want to make things awkward between us so soon after..."  
bites her lip  
nervously  
"Guess I failed."

Expectations are slowly  
sinking back their teeth  
in me  
rekindling the embers of hope  
I'd thought extinguished

She lifts her head abruptly  
curiosity burning unexpectedly  
behind her eyes  
"By the way, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Fear returning immediately

how can I let my insecurities  
mess me up  
so badly

Must read the answer on my face  
because rapidly  
realization  
dawns on hers

"Oh my god, you're regretting what happened between us, aren't you? Is that why you left before I woke up, leaving me only a note?"

She drops my hand  
takes a couple of steps back

hurt obvious in her gaze  
the set of her lips

I follow her on instinct  
trying to salvaged  
the intimacy we just lost

she studies the two of me carefully  
doesn't allow me to touch her again

Robert  
conflicted  
"No, of course not Myfanwy!"

A steadying breath  
"What happened was intense and..."  
respiration choked  
"... and complicated..."  
unsteady  
"... and I... I'm not denying that I enjoyed it because I did, my clothes still smell of rose oil..."

I try to take  
her hand again

she recoils  
as my fingers touch hers

leaving me rejected  
drained

hollow

"... but I... I also know what I am Myfanwy and I understand if it's not..."  
gasping brokenly  
"... if I'm not what you want."

I unconsciously  
start biting my nails

fleeing her eyes  
desperately

Thanks to my positions  
with Teddy and Alex  
I still  
get to watch as she mellows

catches both of my right hands  
tenderly

brings them back down  
holding them tight

"Look at me please."  
Her voice is gentle  
coaxing

The undeniable affection in her gaze  
hits me  
like a fist in the guts

drawing me closer

enticing

"I know 'who' you are too, Gestalt."

Slowly  
she guides the hands she's been holding  
to rest across her back

entrapping herself willingly  
within my arms

molding Eliza to her side and back  
My face  
resting in the crook of her neck

Robert  
leaning along her front

"And I want you."

She brings her free hands to Robert's face  
thumbs stroking my cheeks  
lovingly

leads me down  
to rest my forehead against hers

whispers  
"All of you."  
across my lips

The last of my tension crumbles  
leaving me weak

her hold on me  
my hold on her  
the only things keeping me upright

I slump Teddy against the banister  
breathing hard  
and  
I'll need to sit Alex down soon  
if my knees don't stop shaking

But  
I feel warm  
relieved

content

Eyes closed  
I breathe her in

bask in her touch  
her care

relishing the overwhelming feelings  
the knowledge of her affection  
alights in me

Stroking her nose  
lightly  
with mine

Confessing  
"I want you too, Myfanwy."

finally  
letting my love  
my devotion  
bleed out

"All of you."

———

"Great, well we're done then."

She's flustered

keeps moving the files we've just reviewed  
mindlessly  
across her desk

We've been trying to stay  
professional  
for the past hour now

with little success

"Already? But we were having so much fun!"  
A fake pout with Alex  
a side smile with Teddy

She laughs brightly  
"Right, has your renown love of paperwork finally reappeared?"

Teddy's smile turns lascivious  
Alex's eyes roaming over her  
appreciatively  
"No. But my love of something else sure has."

She flushes  
eyebrows rising  
smile suggestive  
"Oh, really? Love of what I wonder?"

Something catches her eye  
behind me

causing her mood  
to darken  
abruptly

I turn with Teddy  
just in time to see  
Farrier  
disappear up the stairs

She starts rearranging her desk  
messing up what was previously in order  
deep in thought

plainly anxious

I don't want to say anything  
but I need to

for her own good

"Myfanwy, you do realize you have to tell her about your sister, right?"  
Alex  
apologetic

She stops moving at once  
hands  
scrunching tightly one of the many document  
littering her desk

"It's part of the security protocol, of course I know that!"  
Loud  
angry

glaring  
viciously  
"But my sister isn't the only thing I'm required to reveal to the Checquy and we 'both' know that, too."  
spiteful

She's right

if we want this

us  
to continue

we must come clean to the Checquy  
make it official

I can already imagine  
the judgment  
the disgust  
in their eyes

She  
closes hers

takes  
a trembling breath

looks back at me

grimacing  
expression contrite  
"Sorry. I know it's not your fault, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just so worried for her."

Tries  
unsuccessfully  
to flatten the papers  
she just crumpled

"Nothing's going to happen to my little sister right?"  
Pleading  
eyes on her task  
voice hoarse

This isn't the time  
for me  
to freak out about  
the futur

our  
futur

She needs me

I grab her hands  
squeezing them  
reassuringly

"Of course not. I'm going to take care of this myself, okay? I promise."  
Teddy  
adamant

She sighs  
her shoulders loosening up  
a little

Alex  
soothing  
"Eveything's going to be alright. I'll find her, bring her here, and ask her a few questions that's all."

She studies me  
skeptical

Adding  
to alleviate her concerns  
"We just need to make sure she doesn't know anything that could put her or the Checquy, in danger."

But more importantly  
I need to make sure she's not a danger  
to you

I continue  
with Teddy  
"We need to change your schedule. I'll take you home tonight, alright? Just in case she's still spying on you."

She sighs again  
louder this time  
her assurance coming back

"Okay, fine."  
Gets up  
with resolve  
"I'll go tell Farrier now then."

———

I was right

I catch Brownyn  
the next morning  
as she waits for Myfanwy  
outside her place

Good thing I'm already  
driving Myfanwy to work with the twins

no need  
for  
a mess

Brownyn is easy enough to recognize

I've just spent  
the whole night in my car  
studying  
everything I could find about her

keeping a set of eye  
on Myfanwy's place  
at the same time

I come at her from behind  
with Robert  
to take her by surprise

"Can I take a look at that, please?"  
Talking about the small  
notebook in her hand

She clutches it  
protectively  
"Why?"

To distract you  
obviously

Keeping the smile off my face  
"I'd like to see your ID, please."

"Fuck off."  
She tries to side-step me

exactly as I expected

I'm already there with Eliza  
blocking her escape

"Okay, come with me."  
as I take hold of her arm  
catching the other  
with Robert

Start leading her away

"I have every right to be here."  
She sounds angry  
but doesn't resist

"Fuck!"  
At last

a tremor of fear in her voice  
as we arrive to the car

———

"Thank you Gestalt. I'll take it from here, you can go now."

She interrupts me  
when I open Eliza's mouth  
to argue

"I don't want to hear it. You did a great job today but there's no need for you to waste anymore time on this. I'll give the girl a good talk to and we'll be fine."

Fucking Farrier

always sweet on Myfanwy

or anything  
Myfanwy related

not that I get to judge her on that

Still  
nothing I can do about  
a direct order  
from the King

"I'm sure you need time to prepare for tonight's Founder's Feast anyway."

There at least  
she's not wrong

It's going to take me  
a while

to dress myself

for tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titles from the song:  
I Found - Amber Run
> 
> As always  
thanks to RogerThe1st for all his help !!
> 
> And thank you  
for taking the time to read this !!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please, remember to sign the petition if you haven't yet and we might all get to enjoy a second season :  
https://www.change.org/p/therookstarz-season-2-for-the-rook


End file.
